It seems my musical world has been shaped by the men I have known. Friends and lovers alike have left indelible marks on my tastes. Earlier this week (perhaps due to that horrible, unavoidable holiday that causes single chicks to run screaming for a Whitman's sampler to avoid taking a swan dive into the pool of memories) I started thinking about songs & singers that remind me of the guys in my past. It was an interesting journey. And yes, it was accompanied by chocolate. :)
Allow me to guide you down a dozen exits on Musical Memory Lane:
1. M. was my 1st serious boyfriend in junior high. He asked me to "go with him" by slipping a coded message into my locker in 7th grade. Its translation required a trip to the library to reference Tolkien's "Lord of the Rings" Appendix E. Yep, that guy set the benchmark for the type of guy I would always be a sucker for: literate nerdy romantic types. (Humorous author Chris Moore calls 'em "Beta Males." I am a Beta-male magnet to this day...) M. made me mixed tapes with songs from soundtracks like "Ghostbusters," "Streets of Fire," and "St. Elmo's Fire."
Songs that remind me: "I Can Dream About You" by Dan Hartman; St. Elmo's Fire theme; Pink Floyd
2. C. was my first serious boyfriend in high school. It was a short-lived affair but influential nonetheless. This relationship led to my meeting his cousin and later dating his best friend. The former is still one of the coolest friends (with the best musical taste) I have ever known. He introduced me to Roxy Music, Black Flag, Gene Loves Jezebel, the B-52s, The Cure and 10,000 Maniacs. We were together when INXS ruled the charts and "Less Than Zero" was on the big screen. C. is single-handedly responsible for my attraction to European men (although he wasn't, he certainly had the look) who wear black, play futbol and drive cute little sports cars.
Songs/groups that remind me: "Hazy Shade of Winter" by The Bangles; "Avalon" by Roxy Music; "Right on Track" by The Breakfast Club; the entire "KICK" album by INXS; "Just Like Heaven" by The Cure; "Bizarre Love Triangle" by New Order; "Life in a Northern Town" by Dream Academy
3. K. is C's cousin who I also met in 9th grade. We were close until he moved away. Then after 15 years, we reconnected online and I discovered that his musical taste is still impeccable. But the one thing that I will always associate with K. and C. (beside their shared passion for the British military in general and SAS in particular) is the prank they played on me in 1986. They prank-called me and anonymously played the chorus of The Police's "Don't Stand So Close to Me." K. and I loved the same bands then and apparently still do even now. Bizarre.
Songs/groups that remind me: "Don't Stand So Close to Me" and "Tea in the Sahara" by The Police; "Don't Change" by INXS; "Fly on the Windscreen" by Depeche Mode; "Skin Trade" by Duran Duran; all songs by Cutting Crew; the album "Substance" by New Order; "I Don't Mind at All" by Bourgeois Tagg; "Wouldn't It Be Good" by Nik Kershaw; "In Too Deep" by Genesis (it was playing in the Gatlinburg, TN McDonald's during winter break when I ate my first Big Mac w/K; funny how you recall times, places and even tastes when you hear a certain tune); "Learning to Fly" by Foo Fighters; new music: Elbow, Mute Math, Royksopp, Muse, Pete Yorn, Brazilian Girls
4. A. was C's best friend who I also dated in 9th grade. (1985 was apparently a good year for me.) He introduced me to R.E.M.; his favorite band then became mine. That romance lasted about a minute & a half, but the musical impact lasted for years. Although, to be honest, I still prefer "old-school" R.E.M. from the mid-80s over their over-produced newer stuff. But hey...to each their own.
Songs that remind me: R.E.M., esp. "Radio Free Europe" and "Driver 8"
5. D. was the boyfriend in 10th/11th grade. We got together on a cruise ship while sailing in the Bahamas on winter break. On the bus ride down to Miami, I sat next to him and shared his Walkman; he was listening to jazz. I had never been exposed to much, and D. introduced me to Satchmo. Then he played Sting's 1st solo album: I was hooked for life - on Sting, that is, not on D. On the bus ride back, we also listened to Crowded House, but I was a Sting fanatic from then on.
Songs/groups that remind me: Sting "The Dream of the Blue Turtles" album; Louis Armstrong "What a Wonderful World"; "Don't Dream It's Over" by Crowded House; "Captain of Her Heart" by Double; "Hot Hot Hot" by Buster Poindexter; "Happy Together" by The Turtles
6. P. was my best guy friend through high school until sophomore year of college. His sister also dated C. and A., thus all of our musical tastes mirrored each other's and melded together. P. introduced me to Depeche Mode, Swing Out Sister, the Sugar Cubes, Julia Fordham, Enya, Everything But the Girl, Breathe, Rick Astley, The Communards, and Johnny Hates Jazz. I should have realized he was gay then, but I was naive and clueless. I'm sure he still has incredible taste but we lost contact with each other several years ago.
Songs/groups that remind me: "Breakout" by Swing Out Sister; "Orinoco Flow" by Enya; "Never Can Say Goodbye" by The Communards; "Never Gonna Give You Up" by Rick Astley; "Happily Ever After" by Julia Fordham
7. N. was the first guy who made a major impact on me (a slight pun since we met because he happened upon a car wreck where I was injured) but I didn't realize it until much later. After we met in 1988, I reluctantly went out with him. Our shared love of music - esp. of U2 - brought us together. But it wasn't until our paths crossed in 2006 that I realized how completely fantastic he is and how similar our musical tastes still are these 17 years later. We share the same career aspirations, political convictions, even the same brand of beer! He is basically my male counterpart. It's eerie, but in a good way.
Songs/groups that remind me: U2, esp. "Bad," "All I Want Is You" and the entire "Rattle and Hum" soundtrack; Neil Diamond; Dan Fogelberg; Simon & Garfunkel; "In Your Eyes" by Peter Gabriel; "It's Probably Me" by Sting & Eric Clapton; "Calling All Angels" by Jane Siberry; Placebo; Pearl Jam; Josh Joplin Group; Live; Weird Al Yankovic; "Dakota" by Stereophonics; "Laid" by James; "Mad About You" by Sting; "Gideon" by My Morning Jacket"; "Busting Up a Starbucks" by Mike Doughty; "Synchronicity II" by The Police; "Tear in Your Hand" by Tori Amos; "Bittersweet Symphony" by The Verve; "The Last High" and "We Used to Be Friends" by The Dandy Warhols; "See the World' by Gomez
8. R. was my biggest mistake but one of my biggest musical influences. We met during my sophomore year in college, just as 80s synth pop was yielding to alt-rock and grunge. His tastes ran the gamut from David Bowie and Tangerine Dream to Sisters of Mercy and Bauhaus. He introduced me to a great many bands that I still love. The fact that I loved the music more than him is obvious. Still, I wouldn't be who I am today if not for his influence. Because we were together for so long, we saw a lot of incredible shows together: Sting, INXS, Beck, The Who, Neil Young, etc. He also introduced me to the ambient new-age music on the Windham Hill label. Their annual samplers are a must for atmospheric, relaxing mood music.
Songs/groups that remind me: David Bowie; Bob Marley; "Dominion/Mother Russia" by Sisters of Mercy; Tangerine Dream; Windham Hill Sampler '88 CD; Sinead O'Connor; Peter Murphy; Nirvana; Stone Temple Pilots; Nine Inch Nails; TOOL; Marilyn Manson; "Thinking about You" by Londonbeat
9. S. was one of my favorite college-era guys. By then, the term "boyfriend" had left my vocabulary. He defied the stereotype for radio DJs; he was (and probably still is) hot - he could be Kiefer Sutherland's double, all blond and cocky and muscular and tanned after a stint in the Gulf War. As a DJ, he had access to lots of tunes during the grunge heyday. We had similar tastes but he still introduced me to artists I'd never really gotten into before, including Elvis Costello and Mighty Mighty Bosstones.
Songs/groups that remind me: "Someday I Suppose" by Mighty Mighty Bosstones; "Cuts You Up" by Peter Murphy; "The Other Side of Summer" by Elvis Costello; Concrete Blonde's Mexican Moon CD, esp. "Walking in London"; "What's Goin' On" by 4 Non-Blondes; "500 Miles" by The Proclaimers
10. J. was part of my college-era coterie, circa 1992-93. During an after-hours party at his house, he played a CD that is still one of my all-time favorites. J. turned me onto the Cowboy Junkies.
Songs/groups that remind me: "Anniversary Song" by the Cowboy Junkies; the Smithereens
11. B. was my first friend in New England when I lived there after college. B. shaped my tastes in literature, film, music, and more. He introduced me to: Woody Allen movies; the poetry of Billy Collins and Pablo Neruda; the New Yorker and Harper's magazines; A Word A Day email subscription; Powells.com; KEXP radio in Seattle and the authors P.G. Wodehouse, T.C. Boyle, Rick Moody, Tim O'Brien and Haruki Murakama. He made me want to learn more and research everything. He inspired me to go back to school and is still one of the smartest guys I have ever known. Musically, he introduced me to Richard Thompson, Leonard Cohen, Wilco, and the Flaming Lips and reacquainted me with Bob Mould, whose shows we saw in both Massachusetts and Illinois. In recent years, he opened my ears to Calexico, Feist, and The National. I will never be able to repay this guy for his remarkable influence.
Songs/groups that remind me: Bob Mould/Sugar/Husker Du; Pixies/Frank Black; Leonard Cohen; Ani DiFranco; Liz Phair; Mighty Mighty Bosstones; The Replacements/Paul Westerberg; Wilco's "Summerteeth" CD; Camper Van Beethoven/Cracker; Dinosaur Jr; They Might Be Giants; Rev. Horton Heat; Tuatara; Morphine; Verbow; Magnetic Fields/The 6ths; Mike Doughty/Soul Coughing; "First We Take Manhattan" by R.E.M.; "Natural Thing" by Poi Dog Pondering; "I Love Your Brain" by Frank Black; "Until You Came Along" by Golden Smog; "Matador" by Los Fabulosos Cadillacs; "Iowa" by Dar Williams; "Little Red Book" by Love; "Lookout Mountain" by Drive-By Truckers; "American in Paris" and "Rhapsody in Blue" by George Gershwin
12. C. (my emotional Waterloo) is undoubtedly the strongest influence on my life in every possible area. This guy tattooed my heart with marks that a lifetime of therapy can never remove - some good, some bad - but all memorable. C. was the amalgam of every guy in my life prior to the day we met. He had qualities of every one, but his diversity showed in his musical tastes. There are some people you never forget, never recover from, never give up on because their influence is so pervasive that you remain forever hypnotized by their spell...
Songs/groups that remind me: Tool, esp. "46 & 2" and "Schism"; A Perfect Circle; Rush; Porcupine Tree; Siouxsie and the Banshees, esp. "Face to Face"; Sisters of Mercy; Simple Minds; Jeff Buckley; Collective Soul; Coldplay; Tears for Fears; Yes; Foo Fighters; "Yellow Submarine" by The Beatles; "How Soon is Now?" by The Smiths; "The Boxer" by Simon & Garfunkel; "Lessons in Love" by Level 42; "Puttin' on the Ritz" by Taco (he hated that song!); Faith No More; "Asshole" by Denis Leary; "In a Big Country" by Big Country; "Pop Goes the World" by Men Without Hats; Concrete Blonde's Bloodletting CD; Veronica Guerin soundtrack; "I Burn for You" by The Police; "Brand New Day", "Ghost Story" and "Seven Days" by Sting; "Waiting" by The Devlins; "St. Teresa" by Joan Osborn; "Gramarye" and "Prophecy" by Remy Zero; "A Forest" by The Cure; "She Sells Sanctuary" by The Cult; "Concertina" by Tori Amos; "Something Beautiful" by Clem Snide; "Miss Misery" by Elliott Smith; "O Fortuna" (from Carmina Burana - aka "Excalibur" theme) by Carl Orff; "Porcelain" by Moby; "Nearly Lost You" by Screaming Trees; "Three Strange Days" by School of Fish; "I'm Not in Love" by 10cc; "Ready to Go" by Republica; "Flood" by Jars of Clay; "Sleeping with Ghosts" by Placebo; DJ Tiesto's techno remix of "A Clockwork Orange" theme; "Silence" by Delerium / Sarah McLachlan;...all those plus a thousand more that defy listing...
I heard it said once that you can tell who a person is based on who their friends are; in my case, you can tell who I am by the men in my past and present. They are my musical architects. I wouldn't change a thing...
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