Regular blogging has NOT been a priority these last six months. Sorry.
You don't really care about fertilizing your azaleas when you're drowning. Basically, when Fate throws you a curve ball, you focus on surviving. Well, lemme tell ya: Fate has a wicked pitching arm and that unexpected line drive back in March left me with a concussion.
Perhaps I should have continued blogging, if only for therapeutic purposes. God knows that would have saved me many, many thousands of dollars I've wasted in a mindless search for happiness.
But hey, we all deal with heartbreak differently. I've tried just about everything to regain the joy I lost, but nothing's worked. It's true: money CAN'T buy happiness...but it can score some lovely sedatives. Praise be!
The last six months have been the most difficult, most painful emotional roller-coaster ride I've ever endured. No hyperbole. There have been high points (wow, front row for Arcade Fire!), low points (suffering through the heat @ 'Roo and Matt's death there) and some wonderful people in between. Still, I keep coming back to the two things that are most effective: words and music. More concerts & festivals are on the calendar; this gives me something to anticipate. But it only temporarily fills the void. Life just isn't the same anymore without my favorite person sharing it with me.
So the blogging resumes. I just hope my joie de vivre returns eventually. Because I'm reeeeeally tired - of not sleeping, of not enjoying life, of feeling numb, of crying every night mourning the loss of someone I loved, which is an exercise in futility. Why do I shed tears? Because the heart is foolish and I will always love him. Ryan Adams was right: Love is Hell.
This music is proving therapeutic. The person* who introduced me to this artist is quite possibly the most amazing old soul I've ever met in such a young body.
*(If you're reading this: ¡Gracias por la música, el vino, el alimento…y todo! ¡Yo siempre le recordaré (y sus excelentes habilidades de cocina)! ¡Buena suerte en España! ¡Espero verle otra vez el año próximo! Gracias por ser un amigo tan maravilloso. ¡Adiós, guapo!)
Here's to future days of hope and promise.
this drivel was composed @ 05:48