The greengrocer's apostrophe reigns supreme in the U.K.
...alongside typos, apparently.
Few things vex me more than grammar errors in general and apostrophe abuse in particular. I sometimes wonder if I need a 12-step program. ("Hello, my name is Hollie, and I'm an orthographic maniac.") For years, I have carried a Sharpie in my purse to rid the world of errant greengrocer's apostrophes. While grocery shopping nine years ago, I noticed a chalkboard displaying the sale price of "banana's" - so I promptly erased the misplaced symbol before leaving the store empty-handed. Yes, I'm one of those die-hard types. I won't buy groceries from stores who misspell their displays. I won't order food from a restaurant if its menu has typos. (That's typos, as in plural, not typo's, thankyouverymuch.) Seriously, I figure if they can't print the menu correctly, how can I be sure they will prepare my food properly? Needless to say, I eat at home. A lot. But I digress...
Last year, after tolerating an unforgivably escalating crime wave of grammatical errors in this country, I returned to school in a determined effort to become A. an English teacher or B. an editor. My logic is that I can either take a proactive approach and rectify the grammatical illiteracy rampant in today's youth before the problem gets (god forbid) worse, or I can take a reactive approach and simply correct their mistakes with an editor's merciless red pen. Methinks the money is better in the latter, so the pursuit of multiple degrees continues. Plus, I am sadly outnumbered. One dedicated soul against millions of apathetic teens seems like the ultimate exercise in futility. But one well-paid employee with a stack of manuscripts? That's a tolerable scenario.
As heartsick as I am over the misuse of apostrophes, I am crushed to learn the problem is not simply geographical. Contrary to popular belief and personal opinion, stupidity exists beyond the Mason-Dixon line. It seems ignorance (at least where punctuation rules apply) extends outside the South. (I'll be damned!) The epidemic is nationwide, as many blogs attest. But I am truly saddened to learn the problem also exists on the other side of the pond. It seems even speakers of the Queen's English are guilty of these grammatical crimes. No wonder Lynne Truss laughed all the way to the bank with her bestselling book.
I'll post a few examples of local grammatical errors later. My next shift on volunteer Punctuation Police patrol is this weekend; citations will no doubt be plentiful.
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